The 1776 Republican
“Printed upon a Hand-Press, by Candle-Light, entirely out of Spite.”
✉ Letters to the Printer:
NEW GAZETTE FORTHCOMING;
PRINTER BEGS THE PUBLICK'S PATIENCE
Being a true & faithful Account of a Web-Site not yet finished, set in Type before the Type was ready.
Know all Persons by these Presents, that the Proprietor of this Page — a Gentleman of modest Fortune and immodest Ambition — has lately acquired this fine Corner of the Internet, and intends to fill it with Matter of great Consequence, just as soon as he determines what that Matter shall be.
Until such Time, the Reader is invited to admire the Typography, which cost the Printer three Nights' Sleep and one Apprentice, who ran off to sea rather than set another Ligature.
Correspondents are advised that all Letters shall be read aloud in the Coffee-House, judged for Wit, and answered in the Order of their Impertinence. Letters lacking Wit shall be used to wrap Fish, which is its own Kind of Publication.
The Committee of Correspondence for this Domain met Tuesday last, quorum being one Man and his Dog. It was Resolved: that the Site shall be handsome; that the Copy shall be honest; and that no Reader shall ever be made to endure a Pop-Up, that Tyranny being worse than the Stamp Act.
Persons wishing to report Typographical Errours may keep them. The Printer set this Broadside with cold Fingers and warm Cider, and regrets nothing.
ADVERTISEMENTS
FOR SALE
One Kingdom, slightly used. Crown included; Scepter sold separately. Previous Owner asks too much. Enquire across the Atlantick. Best Offer, or 342 Chests of TeaWANTED
Powdered Wigs, any Condition, for a Gentleman whose own has been carried off by a Gust of Liberty. Also seeking: one Quill that does not blot. Reward: eternal Gratitude & a PamphletLOST
The Thread of an Argument, somewhere between the second Toast and the fourth. If found, return to any Tavern on Market-Street; the Owner will be the loud one. No Questions askedNOTICE
The Publick is warned against Counterfeit Broadsides bearing inferior Ligatures. The genuine Article may be known by its Excess of Capital Letters. By Order of Nobody in ParticularDispatches, Proposals, and Grievances of a reasonable Length are received at the following Address, delivered by Electrick Courier in under one Fortnight: